Angel of Mine
by Bruiser
Summary: If I tell ya, you wouldn't need to read it so enjoy and please, I beg of you to review. It's really short. M/A kind of friendship and a little love.


Angel Of Mine  
  
I'm twenty, out on my own with no one to tell me what to do. For years I answered to military trainers. I learned tactics that no nine year old should know. I learned to stand pain and ignore my feelings. Now everything is different. I'm free to an extant. I have no one breathing down my back, no one telling me I'm not good enough. But my past keeps me from total freedom. My past is my shadow, I can not leave it, I can not hide from it. Yet when I get on to the space needle, it's like a whole new world. The world is almost right, almost normal. What ever normal was. I feel free, on top of the world. The lights in the city are breath taking. I don't have to worry what Normal will say or about the virus that keeps me and Logan apart, all of it slips away in the nights cool breeze.  
  
"Hey Maxie." it's Alec. It took a long time for us to get along. But one day they stopped bickering. It was strange, almost like that had come to a silent agreement. She hung out with him more, in fact she seemed to be with him where ever she went, but it didn't bother her. It almost comforted her.  
  
"Whatcha doin? Thought you went home." Max said looking at him. He reminded her so much of Ben. The only difference was that Alec isn't crazy like Ben. He never knew about the Blue lady or all the stories Ben told them.  
  
("Hey Ben, tell a story." Zack said quietly as he held Max in his lap. Ben grinned and started. "Over the wall and out of the woods, there are people who look like us, but are as slow as Lydecker and the guards. They can't hear like us and can't see like us...)  
  
"Thought I'd give you a little company. You looked sort of down. What's wrong?" Alec asked with concern. A few months back she would have pushed him away, now she was glad he was concerned. Things had definitely changed, she was glad.  
  
She smiled slightly looking into his blue eyes and shrugged. "Just a lot of things have happened. To fast for me to control. Zack, he's on his way back to Seattle. Logan's contact says he's starting to remember and that he couldn't stop him from coming. I'm worried. Last time he remembered all the wrong things. I'm afraid the same thing will happen again."  
  
He put his hand on her shoulder while sitting down next to her. "I'll make sure he doesn't hurt Logan or you. I don't see why you like sitting on this thing. I always feel like I'm going to fall."  
  
She grinned and let out a chuckle. "It's a good place to think. I love it up here. Most people hate coming up here, that gives me my own place until you had to come."  
  
"Don't worry, you can have this place. I'm to scared I'm gunna fall. It's a long way down and I think that I'd probable die falling or break every bone in my body." He grinned. "Even with cat genes, I don't think I could land on my feet lightly."  
  
"Want to experiment?" she said with a sly grin and then looked out at the moon. It was full and golden. The breeze was just right as it blew gently onto her face. She could tell Alec was looking at her. For some odd reason she felt as if he was looking at her differently. It confused and baffled her. Her feelings towards him grew more intense. "Look, if you stay quiet and listen, you can almost hear a distant laughter of the wind mocking the human race."  
  
"Nah, I think it's more of a sigh of relief that humans haven't killed themselves yet. I don't think it's mocking the human race, it's cherishing it." Alec said looking at her carefully and then turning back to the moon. "The wind is telling stories of the humans. It's their angel."  
  
"Then who's our angel Alec? We...we have no angel. Only some evil guardian that is still looking for us so that it can tear us apart into an experiment." Max croaked. All the anguish washed over her that had been building for years. Only once in a while did she lose control of it.  
  
"I don't think that's true Max. I think you are. You saved all of us. You got us out of Manticore. You're my angel." He said tracing her face. She trembled. "And I'm glad of it."  
  
"You try and kill your Angel then?" she said trying to put humor into it only coming out with a false smile. He sighed almost as if he knew it'd come to this. "I am no Angel Alec. Only some hyped up killing machine that was made wrong and accidentally had to many feelings that I couldn't hide."  
  
"How can you say that? You've never killed anyone, at least not to my knowledge. Anyway, it's not your fault Lydecker is some mad scientist. That doesn't mean you're not an Angel." Alec responded with another deep sigh. "You need to stop looking down on yourself so much."  
  
"How can I Alec? Everyone I knew I've messed up their lives. I killed Ben... I killed him with my own hands cause I couldn't save him. I asked him about the Blue lady and then killed him. Zack, he died because of me. He gave his heart up and now he's even more screwed then he was and now I don't know what I'm gunna do when he comes. I let out a whole lot of transgenics who aren't ready for this life and some who have a fucked up loyalty to Manticore. I am no angel Alec. I am what they made me and nothing more." tears slid down her cheek. She wished he would go away. Instead he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She resisted at first and then let down her guard. "And now I'm trying to get people to feel bad for me."  
  
"See that's what I'm talking about. Ben, he was crazy and would have killed more people, innocent people. He didn't want to go, you gave him a favor. Zack loved you, probable more then any other person. I think he wanted you to live for him. It was his choice, he wanted you to live for him. You can't blame him for that. Max, you've done so much to help people. Me, I'll have to admit, I'm selfish. I took advantage of our friendship. I regret it. Look, Max, stop blaming everything on yourself. These things just happen. You saved people, you're cleaner then the Blue lady you talk about." he said gently. Her head was in his lap.  
  
"You think?" she asked softly.  
  
"Yeah." he grinned stroking her hair. She fell asleep in his lap and he sighed with relief. She was beautiful and as the full moon shined on her peaceful face, she really did look like an angel. He softly spoke to himself, nodding his head. "You are an angel of mine and I love you for that. You're the only one that cares in this cruel cold world. God bless you for that. You don't know it, but millions of lives have counted on you and you haven't failed them once. No matter what 


End file.
